“Transition isn’t pretty, but stagnation is hideous.”
Last week I talked about opportunities. Opportunity and shock have some things in common. They both come from external sources. And usually they are unexpected and fast moving.
This week we’ll talk about transition.
Transition is an internal affair. It comes from inside you and usually it’s a slow, gradual process within you. Transitions take time.
What happens in general is that you’re in some way dissatisfied with the way things are going. And you’re starting to feel you want something more, something different in your life. You often feel like this is not what your life is meant to look like.
Transitions happen when you’re actually living a life that’s not your soul’s calling. And deep discontent begins to fester. Until you break free and start over.
When we fight these longings of our soul, it may cause our bodies to protest or even become ill. A nervous breakdown or bun-out is often the consequence of not living your true life. And until you’re ready to start over, you may feel down, depressed, or real sad.
Even when you decide to break free and start again and you follow what’s calling you, the beginning of this new life can be challenging.
For me, my biggest transition was when I knew I no longer wanted to be with my then partner of 21 years. My body had been tired and aching for years. I was depressed and my tank was empty. I felt joyless. Like a robot going through the motions of every day life. I did so because I believed that life was just that. And I had to suck it up and stick it out. Because that’s what was expected from me.
But it didn’t work. Well, not for me. The longer I went on, the more stuck I felt. The more depressed I became, the more my body ached. I write about my body screaming out in this blog post.
This went on for quite some years. Until I finally woke up and had enough.
It’s not that I just got up one day and decided to leave my marriage. No, this nagging feeling had been festering inside of me like a poisonous fungus for years. And as I withered away inside, something happened that made me see I wanted more. That it was my time and I needed to take control if I ever wanted to feel joy again. And so I did.
It was an enormous decision. With huge consequences. It changed not only my own life, but it affected the life of others.
This is what happens when you leave a relationship with kids. I knew there would be repercussions, and that’s why it took a lot of contemplating and trying to work things out before I finally left. But I knew deep down it was the right thing to do, but also the hardest. I knew it would take a long time before the dust settled.
I learned about an underestimated caveat when you follow your calling. The one where others don’t understand. They don’t know what you’ve carried inside of you for so long. They can’t see you’re not just doing this on a whim. They often find you are selfish and judge you. So not only are you facing your own consequences, but you have to be prepared for load of shit to be thrown at you.
You run the risk of losing family and friends over your decision. But sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. And no one can and should judge you. Yet, it’s better to prepare yourself for the fall-out that will no doubt come at you, when you go after your heart’s desire.
Again I want you t think of something you’ve thought about doing for a long time. Something that was slowly growing and you became aware of. And no one would keep you from making that change.
What was it? What happened? What was the final straw that made you decide to go and do it? Who supported you? Who judged you?
Are you still standing behind your decision? Did it turn out the way you expected? Or were there hiccups, repercussion and a lot of road blocks on your path?
Share your story of your transition in the comments. As I said before, sharing your stories has a cleansing and healing effect. It’s good fro your soul. And don’t worry about being vulnerable. This is what makes you brave. A true warrior. So be proud of your story. Be the hero.
Next week we’ll go into the nerdy stuff of the brain and change. You’ll see why we have such difficulty dealing with changes because of how our brain works.
Based on the books and work of Martha Beck.
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