On The Blog
A mixture of stories, insights, knowings, learnings......
Do’s & Don’t-s When Divorcing A Narcissist
Divorcing a toxic partner — a narcissist or antisocial personality, or a very manipulative person— can be very hard. So it is a good idea to have a plan when you set out to leave. You have to prepare physically, emotionally, psychologically. Straight off...
How To Build Resilience When Leaving An Emotionally Abusive Partner Or Narcissist
Divorce is a hard thing to do. But when you’re leaving or divorcing an emotionally abusive partner or a narcissist, things will be way harder. This is why you will need to build resilience. How? Here are a few ways to build your resilience. ...
Why you’re not to blame for a toxic relationship
When it comes to toxic relationships, my clients always take the blame for being sucked in. The number one question they ask me when they realise they are or were in a toxic relationship is “ Why me?”. Followed by: “How could I have been so...
8 Mistakes You May Make When Leaving a Narcissist, But Which May Be Necessary
I was once married to a narcissist. It lasted 21 years. Only, I didn’t know it at the time. I only started to see him and his games for what they were when I got away. “Nice people don’t necessarily fall in love with nice people.” ~ Jonathan Franzen Getting...
12 Signs You’re Just An Option To Someone
“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” Maya Angelou Knowing when you’re an option to someone is hard. Often we don’t want to see the signs, but deep down we just know. I once was an option for someone. For a long time, I didn’t see, or...
What I Learned On My Solo Trip To New York While Facing A Life-Altering Decision
“I think it’s good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.” ― Amy Sedaris When we face a difficult life-altering change, making a decision often seems impossible. We...
3 Things To Be Aware Of When Starting Over
We all have times in our lives when we have to start over. This can be because we decide to do so. We make a conscious choice. Or maybe life happens and forces a big change upon us. Obviously, I’m talking about big new beginnings that affect your life in a...
Practical Matters and Tips When Leaving The Narcissist
Narcissists usually operate under the radar for quite a while. At least with the people they feed off. It’s usually easier for outsiders who are close to you to see that something is off in your relationship. But when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you...
Why Big Goals Are Not A Good Idea When Your Life Is Upside Down
We all have moments in our lives when things don’t go as planned. Sometimes these are minor upsets and they are easy to sort out. You just deal with them and off you go. But other situations may derail you. These are devastating things that happen. A separation, a...
Starting over: Life in Chaos, Stillness and The Tiniest Next Step
Starting over is and has been a big theme in my life. When you start over the big question is: “What do I do next?”.Starting over, whether it is due to a choice of your own, or whether you are forced to, can cause total chaos and confusion in your life....
Not-Knowing and The Fear of Change: The Big Excuses To Stay In A Toxic Relationship
2007 was the year I had my wake up call. 2007 was a year of chaos and pain. My wake-up call told me it was time to make a huge life change. I was stuck in this toxic relationship, yet I didn’t know how to get out. Or if I’d have the courage to get out. This wake-up...
Starting Over: Not Easy Yet Always Possible
Starting over is not the easiest thing to do. Often it is scary. Yet, I know from personal experience it is possible. So what is starting over for me and what were my experiences? For me, starting over is almost like getting a new identity. It means stepping out of an...